Miscarriages

My mind has been drawn to those who experience miscarriages. I have had a lot of friends who have had to deal with this trial. My heart aches for them and my prayers are with them. This post is written in hopes to bring peace to those individuals. Personally, I had 3 miscarriages in 2002-2003. At the time they were very difficult and by the third one I really felt like Summer was going to be our only child. I had a range of emotions, but that is not the point of this post. I think one of the hardest things about them for me was that there is no set doctrine on the subject. There are some really good hopeful quotes by General Authorities, but no concrete doctrine about the finalization of those precious spirits in a miscarriage. I am a person that wants doctrine.

Since the beginning of 2011 I have really studied this topic. Tonight I read something that really rang true to me as I have studied and prayed about this topic. I hope it serves as a comfort to those who have had to deal with this. I was rereading one of my favorite near death experience accounts of Suzanne Freeman. She had a near death experience with complications in an ectopic pregnancy that went very wrong. In meeting the daughter of that ectopic pregnancy on the other side of the veil she said,

"It was made known to me that sometimes a miscarriage is allowed as a challenge for the mother or family, and the brief time spent in the mother's womb has fulfilled that particular spirit's mission. Sometimes a miscarriage occurs because there is a problem with the DNA or some other facet of development, and the spirit that would have claimed that body may come again. Depending on the cause and purpose of the event, miscarried babies may be able to choose whether the miscarriage is their total earthly experience, or whether they want to go again."

Suzanne Freeman was blessed with a near death experience to learn that her dear daughter Brook's mission on the earth was fulfilled through the ectopic pregnancy and miscarriage, but not all of us are going to have such a grand experience. In another book about miscarriages the author spoke about an important tool that we have of using personal revelation to know the purpose and spiritual outcome of the miscarriages. I know this personally to be true and to work. You don't even have to almost die to learn these things. It is as simple as asking specific questions to Heavenly Father and He pours out knowledge, as long as you do your part in fasting, praying, and earnestly and diligently seeking out those answers for your specific circumstances.

At the beginning of this year I read on a blog the experience of one woman's 3 miscarriages, where she learned through personal revelation that one returned to heaven to act as a guardian to her family, one returned to her at a different time, and another one returned to one of her children (she had like 11 kids so maybe the Lord let her have a rest!!!). To me this explains why there would be no set doctrine because every situation is different. Doctrine to me is something that you can always count on, but how can church leaders promise something that is different in various circumstances. We are naturally interested in things that affect us, and for those that have experienced a miscarriage can find great comfort in knowing that Heavenly Father does hear and answer our earnest prayers....and that is doctrine.

I feel a special kinship to people that have experienced a miscarriage. For those of you who have experienced a miscarriage and want an ear to listen to and shoulder to cry on mine is always open.

"Hmmmm what can I dye?" thinks Nephi

I was dying eggs with the kids yesterday for Easter. The kids were LOVING it, especially Nephi. Later that night we noticed that Nephi had disappeared, which isn't out of the norm. A few minutes later he came out of the bathroom with "my little pony" whose hair was sopping wet and Nephi's hands were completely stained red, clothes were covered in red (although he was wearing his jeans backwards since he insists on doing things his way), and had a red dye trail from the bathroom. The bathroom was not a pretty sight. Thank goodness food coloring dye cleans up easily on bathroom surfaces (a lot easier than the nail polish he had gotten into a few months ago, which stained the cabinet). I realized that he had watched Stuart dye my hair a couple of weeks ago and he wanted his turn to dye some hair. That little boy keeps life so interesting.

Just in case you were wondering, food dye does not do a very good job of dying hair. The ponies hair is the same rainbow color it had been.

Summer and Spencer

SUMMER:
Summer has really been into reading church books. I had gotten a bunch of church books out of storage a couple of months ago and put them on our bookshelf. They were kind of for decoration to fill the empty space, but Summer took notice and started picking them up to read. She read a Sheri Dew book, President Hinckley book, and Camilla Kimball's biography. It is just so wonderful that she chooses good things. While she was reading Camilla's biography she was constantly stopping to tell me things about her. I am so grateful for a daughter like her. She just radiates goodness (despite her fights with her brothers).

She has been doing amazing with piano. I think that some people just have that gift, and I definitely think that is one of her gifts, not mine. She has a phenomenal teacher that expects a lot from her, which I love. She hates to practice, but I am glad that she is obedient because she is wonderful to listen to. I am so grateful for Aunt Nita (from church) making it possible for Summer to have piano lessons. She wanted to do this for Summer to help her get over the loss of her kitten. Aunt Nita is such an amazing lady that I am in awe of.

SPENCER:
Spencer has been either glued to the TV to watch college basketball or outside practicing basketball. He said, "Mom, I like to ride rides at Disneyland with Dad, but I like to play basketball with you." He said, "Mom, if I give you a starburst, will you promise to play basketball every day with me so that I can be like Jimmer" I gladly accepted the Starburst and told him that I would do what I could. My brother pointed out that his middle name is James/Jimmer. And it dawned on me that Spencer's middle name is James too (after my Dad), so we've been calling him Spencer Jimmer Spendlove, which he loves. I ordered Spencer a Jimmer t-shirt jersey. He was super excited to wear it to school, but then BYU lost a game. Suddenly he didn't want to wear the jersey because he said that he was embarrassed. I asked him why and he said because BYU isn't good any more since they lost. We had a good chat that everyone loses and that you can still be an amazing player and lose. I think it sunk in. He proudly wore it to school the next day, among all of his SDSU fans (his teachers). Stuart has mentioned with how cool it would be to have a son play college b-ball. It would be super cool.

I am stoked about BYU basketball and think ALL of the players have done an amazing job in the big dance.

How Nephi sees some of us.

I was asking Nephi today about his primary class and what friends were there. I didn't recognize one of the names, and so I said, "What do his parents look like" so that I could place who that was. He said, "His mom has a white booger in her nose (nose ring), his dad has a lot of pictures on his arms (tatoos), and his grandpa looks like a crab." I was like a crab! "Yeah you look like a pink crab and Daddy looks like a red crab that are getting married." So I asked him what his grandparents look like and this is what he said, "Black Grandma looks like a bat ray, Grandpa with hair looks like dolphin, White Grandma looks like a dolphin, and your Grandpa (my Dad) looks like a penguin." These are all compliments of course, as he loves all of the creatures at Sea World.

Where's Nephi and Summer and Spencer playing b-ball

I had to run by the church today to pick up something in the Relief Society closet. I brought our basketballs so that we could shoot some hoops. I have really been trying to teach Spencer the correct shooting form. Any ways, Nephi kept leaving the gym and I kept having to find him. One time he left for a very long time. I searched EVERY WHERE (well, almost) for him, including outside. I was terrified, upset, etc. The kids and I went looking a second time. I opened the chapel doors, and Nephi was standing at the backrow with the sacrament water tray, holding it like the deacons do to pass the sacrament. My terrified, frustrated heart just melted. I know that he shouldn't be getting in to the sacrament stuff, but it was so darling that he wanted to be like the deacons. He had even put the water cups in the trays. We put back the tray and he informed me that he also ate the bread.

The kids finished playing b-ball. Summer made 51 shots and Spencer made 23. They have had a definite interest in b-ball since going to the BYU/UCLA game, which I hope continues. Everyone but Stuart (who had to work) went up to a movie theater to watch the BYU/SDSU game on the big screen. It was opened up to BYU alumuni and anyone else interested in attending. We had a blast and were cheering the entire game. I was super proud of BYU.

With all of the events with Davies and the honor code, I have never felt prouder to be a BYU cougar. It feels really great to have graduated from a school that stands for what we believe in. I am so proud of Davies for owning up to what he did, and hope to see him back on the team next year. GO COUGARS!!!!

Just in case you were wondering, water does ruin cameras!

Theoretically speaking, of course, if you are going to be out weeding your yard and oh let's just say your 3 year old son comes out with your digital camera to take some pictures, and you insist that he takes it back inside so that it won't get ruined, then please follow up on that to make sure he listens!!! If you don't follow up, you just may have a camera that has been completely water logged after a couple days of rain. You may just find it in a sewage pipe that little 3 year old boys love to put things in. Rest assured if this happens to you, you will have a non-functioning camera.

Our camera's last moments...through the eyes of a 3 year old

These are the last pictures taken by our camera. Luckily, Stuart was able to retrieve the memory card from our dead camera. These are the last pictures....taken by a certain little 3 year old. The rest of the posts from tonight are the other pictures that we had on the camera. Better late than never.

And now what happened I do not know. But the final resting place of our hand-me-down camera (from Sam) was our sewage draining pipe.

Awards

Spencer got the Responsibility Award in January. Summer told me that her class voted her to get the award this month with the theme Citizenship. I look forward to attending her awards ceremony next week.

YEAH!!!

Yummy!

Can't remember what Benson ate, but am positive that he enjoyed it!

Spencer dancing

Basket full of goodness!

GO COUGARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our large spider

Here is a spider that Stuart killed. It is beside Stuart's shoe. Just kidding, beside Benson baby's shoe!

Samuel the Lamanite FHE

We did a Samuel the Lamanite FHE, in which we stood on a wall and withstood arrows (marshmellows) as we bore our testimonies of Jesus Christ. It was a blast...and yummy.

Benson enjoying the arrows!

Roasting the arrows.

Oh Nephi

Nephi has been so dang cute lately that I had to write some of these things down for me to always have.

• Recently, he grabbed my head and pulled me in for a big smooch on the lips like he usually does. Then told me that he wanted to marry me. I of course told him that I can't marry him and suggested another little girl that he is friends with. He said, "No, I don't want to kiss her on the lips. I will marry Rachel, but not kiss her on the lips." Summer then told him that he can't marry his cousin, to which he clarified (a little girl from his Primary Class).
• Today at church I was wearing my beaded jewelry that I got on our Spendlove Bahama Mamas cruise. He took off my bracelet because he said I was wearing too much. He put it in his pocket. When I tried to get it back, I could tell that he was going to be really loud and throw a fit. So I decided to wait until after church. So when we got home from church I asked him if I could have it back. He said, "I don't have it. I gave it to Clair." Sure enough, when I called his teacher, she told me that Clair was wearing a blue bracelet, but she didn't know that Nephi had given it to her. What a Romeo!
• Today Nephi gave his first prayer in Primary. I helped him and he spoke extremely quiet, even though he was using the microphone. When he was done, we looked up and everyone was still bowing their heads with eyes shut because they thought he was still going since they didn't hear an amen (or hear anything for that matter). I finally had to tell them that he was done. When we were driving home, I was telling him how proud I was of him for giving the prayer. He proudly yelled, "It was in Spanish!" Wow, I didn't even know that he knew Spanish! HA!
• Yesterday, Nephi did something that I was upset about (I know shocking). He walked outside. I thought he was going out to throw a fit and dig in the dirt. He shortly walked back in, handing me some flowers, with a darling face. Of course I melted, even if they were from the neighbors yard (sorry neighbor). He can be quite a mischiveous little boy, but he can be such a sweet little boy that makes up for all of the gray hairs (which are many) that he has added to my head.
• We were finishing up dinner one night and he said, "OK, everyone get in the car." Stuart asked, "Why do we need to get in the car?" Nephi exclaimed, "Well, we're going to Disneyland silly." We had to disappoint that night.
• Whenever I talk about Grandma, he says, "Is it the white Grandma or the black one?" I soon realized that he was talking about the black haired one or the white haired one.